if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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