I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
