The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
