come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
