i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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