I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
