The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
God, I missed his penis.
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