i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
