4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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