Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just had sex bonerless
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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