His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
