Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
