Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
