I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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