Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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