You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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