one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
