I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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