he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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