never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
