I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
