new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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