Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I still have a little drunk in my system
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
