brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
