Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
