I think i peed on brittanys purse
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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