We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
