How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
