Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
