babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
