That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He shit in the fireplace
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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