Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
