I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
