and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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