Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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