I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
