So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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