did you get engaged???
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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