How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
50% drunk capacity currently
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
