Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
