It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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