you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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