talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
