You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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