dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
