Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.

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(845): View more from New York

i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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(703): View more from Virginia

he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

(1-703): View more from Virginia

be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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(407): View more from Florida

Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?

(912): View more from Georgia

Home?

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(360): View more from Washington

We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?

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(573): View more from Missouri

I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER

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