I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's blow job season.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
