We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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