my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
