I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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