ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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